Selfish and Perverse: A Novel

Nelson Kunker is a TV script supervisor whose life in Los Angeles has come to a halt because he's unable to finish the novel he's writing, doesn't have a boyfriend, and at the pivotal age of thirty-four has reached the juncture where he has to decide whether he's really talented or just gay.

Then one day he meets Roy Briggs, a part-time salmon fisherman/full-time archaeology student visiting from Alaska. When Nelson attempts to make small talk with the handsome Roy, his obscure reference to a haunting story about bowhead whales startles the science nerd in both men into suspecting they might be soul mates. Unfortunately Nelson also discovers his soul is a bit of a tramp when he also meets the guest-host of that week's show, the surprisingly bookish movie star Dylan Fabizak.

The threesome finds its way to Roy's home in Alaska, where Nelson goes salmon fishing and comes to identify with another insanely driven species that will endure any sacrifice and overcome every hurdle in order to find love. A comedy as smart as it is funny, Selfish and Perverse brings an exciting new voice to fiction.

About the author: Bob Smith has the distinction of being the first openly gay comedian to appear on The Tonight Show and also have his own HBO comedy half-hour. He is a regular contributor to The Advocate and lives in New York City. His next novel, Remembrance of Things Forgotten, will be published by Alyson in June 2010. Bob can be reached at bobscomedy@aol.com.

                                                     

Praise

"A thoroughly seductive and satisfying read. It makes you laugh, it makes you horny, it makes you want to fish for salmon." —Armistead Maupin

"Who is 'Bob Smith' and why is he reluctant to use his real name? He should be proud, because Selfish and Perverse is a fantastically entertaining book. Something this funny has no right to also be this beautifully written." —David Rakoff, author of Don't Get Too Comfortable

"Selfish and Perverse is witty and hilarious, full of surprising twists, laugh-out-loud observations I wish I were smart enough to have made, and a whole lot of swarthy Alaskan fisherman. Who'd have guessed that salmon could be so sexy?" —Stephen McCauley, author of The Object of My Affection and Alternatives to Sex

Top 10 Reasons Why Alaska is Our Gayest State by Bob Smith

1. Even the straight women wear flannel.
2. More Bears than on Folsom Street.
3. Cohomosexual salmon swim upstream in Speedos.
4. Drag queens can butcher a moose and Diana Ross.
5. Gold-diggers are looked up to in the community.
6. Six month long one-night stands are great for lesbians.
7. Laying pipe is highly paid.
8. Gay Republicans can see Russia from their log cabins.
9. The most blow holes per capita.
10. White Parties lit by the Aurora Borealis.

Reviews

QueerReader.com

Queer readers have reason to rejoice. Bob Smith's Selfish and Perverse is available in paperback today. Mr. Smith's book is both laugh out-loud funny and surprisingly wise. I don't use these words lightly. I personally almost never laugh out-loud when reading a book. But Selfish and Perverse had me laughing out-loud repeatedly–from the first page. Mr. Smith begins his novel on the set of a late-night television comedy show. The dialogue is both hilarious and completely realistic–these are comedy writers afterall. But it's the narrator's voice that gives this novel its wit. Almost every page contains a witty one (or two) liner. And as the novel progresses from Southern California to the tundra of Alaska, these witticisms evolve into wisdoms–truths about life.

The plot of the novel is fairly simple. Aspiring writer, Nelson Kunker is working as a script coordinator for a struggling TV show called, "Aftertaste." After a humorous mishap, Nelson loses his job and, at the same time, finds himself falling for a hunky guy from Alaska. As the narrator explains: "Love at first sight makes sense, because we're all pressed for time." Nelson decides to spend the summer with him fishing in Alaska. To complicate matters, someone else comes along: a possibly bi-sexual, definitely uber-sexy movie star named Dylan Fabrizak. Why did Nelson think bringing Dylan along would be a good idea? Much of the novel is an answer to this rhetorical question. Mr. Smith's description of Dylan is very deliberate. He doesn't describe Dylan all at once. Instead, he provides tiny bits of description throughout the book. These glimpses of Dylan are erotic and amount to a tasteful striptease. The reader is effectively reminded of why they let him come along in the first place: he's hot. The second half of the novel takes on a more leisurely pace. Alaska's rugged scenery is lovingly described. And Mr. Smith amusingly renders Alaska's gay scene. It can accurately be called a "community." Everyone knows each other. And that's not always a good thing. I don't want to give away too much, except to say that the plot's climax is both logical and satisfying. And the arrival of Wendy–a fellow TV writer–brings the novel back to its comedic roots. Beyond that let me just say that only Bob Smith could make the electrocution of the Rosenbergs hilarious.

I'm so glad Selfish and Perverse is finally in paperback. Because it is, in the best sense of the expression, "a beach read." A fun read. A delightful read. You'll find yourself learning about television, about Alaska, about love. And you probably won't even notice how well-constructed this novel is. You'll be too busy laughing.

Publishers Weekly

Standup comedian and television writer Smith, who published the Lambda Award–winning memoir Openly Bob in 1997, throws his hat into the gay fiction ring with this absorbing, funny and smoldering romantic comedy. Nelson Kunker, a miserably single, mid-30s unproductive novelist and Hollywood script coordinator for late night TV's Aftertaste, is burning out: endless cat-fighting at work, a boss from hell and the nagging notion that he's either really talented or just gay. Safeguarded by best friend Wendy (a gigantic lesbian), Nelson's love life finally gets a boost after a chance meeting with burly Alaskan salmon fisherman–cum–student archeologist Roy Briggs, cousin to Aftertaste's star performer Joe Benedetti. The two are immediately smitten, but Nelson gets fired for smoking marijuana with sexually ambiguous guest star Dylan Fabizak, on parole and postrehab after a drug arrest. Cut to Nelson, Roy and Dylan at Roy's home in Coffee Point, Alaska, with all the sex, danger, salmon fishing lore and sarcastic dialogue one reader could want, and an appearance from mother-hen Wendy to sort it all out. Pithy zingers (and a fair share of apparently intentional groaners), a chatty gang of likable characters, a simple yet sexy plot line and camera-ready prose combine with panache in this immensely entertaining story.